Last Call: Brunch At Gwyneth Paltrow's House Sounds Predictably Insufferable

It's disheartening that in the year of our lord 2019, we find crystals-lifestyle-promoting Gwyneth Paltrow still getting so much attention. Didn't someone actually die after using her ineffectual bee-sting remedy? Isn't she currently embroiled in a lawsuit against someone accusing her of being in a ski-and run accident in Utah? Didn't she have to pay out $145,000 after overpromising the benefits of vaginal jade eggs on her Goop website? Yes to all the above. And yet, Netflix announces that it is embarking on a series made in conjunction with Paltrow's New Agey enterprise Goop, "wherein Paltrow and her rich pals offer you advice on 'issues relating to physical and spiritual wellness.'" And Vogue recently ran the menu from a "healthy brunch" at Paltrow's house. 

That lifeless menu with recipes from her new cookbook, A Clean Plate, includes a blueberry cauliflower smoothie and a black rice pudding with coconut milk, both using dates for sweetness. It's no bottomless mimosa or french toast, bur fair enough, maybe they're palatable. But of four food items items listed, two of them are egg-based: the easy frittata and the veggie scramble. Extremely similar ingredients, just different presentations. Honestly, with all her staff and gourmet kitchens at her disposal, Paltrow couldn't amp this menu up a bit more than a pair of ways to use up her leftover beet greens "as a result of my beet obsession"?

Sometimes Netflix fame can be a good thing, like all the thrift stores filled to the brim now that everyone Marie Kondo-ed over the recent cold snap. I for one am terrified that a Netflix Goop show could do the same thing for Paltrow, making vaginal jade eggs a cultural touchstone right up there with "sparking joy." Netflix, don't make me quit you. And pass the bacon. [Gwen Ihnat]

Contemporary health advice blames dehydration for everything. Cranky? You're probably dehydrated. Tired? Have a glass of water. Headache? Two glasses of water. But in this excerpt from her new book, Good to Go: What the Athlete in All of Us Can Learn from the Strange Science of Recovery, author Christie Aschwanden argues that much of our conventional wisdom about hydration, sports drinks, and exercise relies on incomplete if not outright dubious science. She and other critics of such science argue that our bodies are actually good at signaling to us when we need to drink water. One interesting tidbit, for example: "There's never been a case of a runner dying of dehydration on a marathon course, but since 1993, at least five marathoners have died from hyponatremia [essentially, "water intoxication"] they developed during a race." Read the lengthy excerpt on Five Thirty Eight. [Kate Bernot]