Ladies, A New Bakery Wants To Sell You Period Brownies

A new Olympia, Washington-based bakery hopes to capitalize on the idea of scarfing baked goods during a lady's time of the month. Following a successful Kickstarter, New Agey Moon Cycle Bakery will launch sign-ups December 15. Women can enroll in the subscription service and, using an app that's the "first-ever period tracker with an e-commerce element,"pick up treats like Matcha Coconut Bites and Raspberry Black Bean Brownies with Primrose.

I would argue, however, that all brownies are period brownies if you eat an entire tray of them.

The Moon Cycle treats contain ingredients like gamma-linolenic acid and magnesium, which the bakery claims ameliorate PMS symptoms and replace necessary nutrients. (I usually just slather my brownies in peanut butter and call it a day, but I'm open to gamma-linolenic acid, I guess.)

The idea of period brownies taps into the oh-so-2017 confluence of feminism, the "self-care" buzzword, and the Amanda Chantal Bacon wellness set. Moon Cycle's website is sprinkled with affirmations, cosmic metaphors, and references to "the moon dust that lives inside of your bones." I do notice a surprising lack of crystals, however.

This would all be easy to mock if 2017 wasn't just a shit year for women, generally. If matcha/ginger/fairy dust-infused brownies are any kind of a balm for ladies, I say more power to them. With prices starting at $15 for one Moon Cycle treat, though, I'll stick with my Betty Crocker box.