Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Unicorns Are Real

Kraft, a time-tested brand with a ubiquitous little blue box, has long found ways to fold the world of pop-culture into its line of just-add-milk-and-butter macaroni and cheese, typically by way of substituting noodles shaped like recognizable characters from films and television for the traditional elbow. Now, the company has revealed its latest effort of the kind, announcing the newest addition to its Shapes line, as detailed in an email to The Takeout. The shapes in question are—wait a second.


Wait. Just. A. Second.

Unicorn shapes?!?!?!?!!!?!

Please forgive me, I need just a moment. For some reason when I turned 30 the part of my brain that steered me away from so-called "girly" things, like pink, sparkles, Barbies, unicorns, and the movie She's All That short-circuited and I now can't get enough of such things. I'll get my game face back on momentarily. Here, look at this picture.

And we're back. Thank you for your patience.

A representative of Kraft stated that the new product is a part of the company's ongoing efforts to "alleviate parents' inner pressure and create moments of release so mealtimes can be more joyful." The noodles aren't pink or sparkly or anything; Kraft emphasized that there are "no artificial flavors, preservatives or dyes" in the product, and the cheese flavor remains unchanged. No, the unicorniness is all in the shapes, which include rainbows, stars, and unicorn heads.


This, of course, isn't the first such product. In recent years, there's been Star Wars mac and cheese, Finding Dory mac and cheese, and Frozen mac and cheese, to name a few. (Let it boooil! Let it booooooooil! I am one with the mac and chee-ee-eese.)

If you're a parent or grown-ass woman in her 30s who for some reason is now incapable of resisting the clarion call of a noodle shaped like a majestic mythical creature of infinite wonder and delight, Unicorn Shapes Macaroni & Cheese awaits you right now, at "select retailers nationwide" as well as at various online stores.