Sad Excuse For Birthday Cake, Or Late 20th-Century Minimalist Art?

As fans of the Netflix baking series Nailed It!, we know cakes don't always turn out as they look in the cookbook. And generally, that's okay; it still tastes good, and no one minds that your frosting is a bit lopsided. Unless, of course, it is your job to make cakes that people pay for. In that case, you should probably not screw it up.

And yet.

The Sun brings us this story of an Australian dad who was righteously pissed at the lousy birthday cake a Woolworth's store made for his son's third birthday. He had apparently requested a frog-themed cake, to match his son's frog-themed birthday. No problem, the store assured him, we can do a frog theme.

He ended up with this:

A green sheet cake, a smiley face, and the number three. Nary a frog in sight.

As a person who received no less than an A-minus in her sophomore year art history class, I have to concede though that the juxtaposition of the numeral and the emoji-esque smiley face have a certain sensibility reminiscent of Joan Miró's "Painting," or perhaps it's a Dada-esque critique that mocks "birthday cake" as the capitalist usurpation of time's very passage.

Just me?

The father said he was already home with the cake before he opened it, so the family had a friend attempt to snazz it up a bit. Ultimately, The Sun reports, the kid had a fine birthday, because three-year-olds like cake and have no idea how much you spent on it or what fondant is anyway.

In its defense, the Woolworth's store reportedly told the father "they don't decorate cakes." Okay, well, neither do these people.

To share a personal cake anecdote, just this week I ordered a birthday cake for my significant other from our local bakery, Bernice's. The woman asked me to spell out "Happy birthday, Mike" for her. Now that's attention to detail.