The Oatman Cometh To Starbucks

Stick your soy milk where the sun don't shine: oat milk is coming to Starbucks stores all across this alternative dairy-loving nation. "So what?," you may say. "My neighborhood 'Bucks has had oat milk for months." And yeah, oat milk has been available regionally for some time—but let's have a little compassion for our fellow man, shall we? For the first time, Starbucks will offer oat milk nationally in spring of 2021.

When can you expect your local Starbucks to offer the nectar of the oats? Not sure yet, to be honest. Starbucks hasn't shared an exact date for the nationwide oat milk rollout. The company did, however, discuss some of its internal efforts to create a "Planet Positive future." Those efforts include cutting carbon, water, and waste  footprints by half, and increasing the company's Global Farmer Fund to $100 million.

That's all great news, but I'm more enthused about the immediate benefits of oat milk. Show me someone who prefers almond or soy milk in their coffee, and I'll show you someone who should be left alone with Annie Wilkes and tucked away Misery-style. In my milky opinion, oat milk is the creamiest dairy substitute on today's market, lending itself perfectly to cappuccinos and lattes. Oat milk production also requires significantly less water than almond milk, and it creates fewer emissions than soy milk. This is all to say: if oat milk isn't readily available in your area, get ready to have your shit rocked when the Starbucks rollout is complete.