Free IHOP Pancake Alert

Not only is today Mardi Gras, it's also National Pancake Day. While most of these fake food holidays are, well, dumb (no one asked for, nor cares about, National Corn on the Cob Day), National Pancake Day is just fine in our book because IHOP is giving out free pancakes. That's right, people: Today is the day you can get publicly blitzed on Hurricanes, then stumble into IHOP for a short stack to suck up all that alcohol so you can go back to work tomorrow like a responsible adult. But wait, there's more!

If you visit IHOP today (technically through tomorrow, since this promotion runs until 3 a.m.), you can enter to win free pancakes for the rest of your life, provided that over the course of your life you'll be able to use up $15,000 worth of IHOP gift cards. There's also a bounty of "Instant Win" prizes to be had, including:

  • Ten $500 IHOP gift cards
  • Ten IHOP bikes (yes, bikes)
  • Ten IHOP scooters (for people who can't ride bikes)
  • Ten IHOP custom jackets, valued at $350 each (I really hope that the ten winners band together and form a motorcycle gang)
  • Twenty IHOP berets, which have a retail value of (I'm serious) $125 (I have no idea what you need to do to a beret to make it worth $125, but IHOP has done it)
  • Twenty IHOP watches, which, with a retail value of $85, are not nearly as nice as the berets
  • Fifty IHOP blankets, somehow worth $75 each (so if your husband steals it in the middle of the night, it's completely acceptable to kick him and pretend you did it while "asleep")
  • 250 IHOP duffel bags (because who doesn't like being the person at the gym reminding everyone about the majesty of pancakes?)
  • 250 IHOP "collectible" drinking glasses (to be cashed in when your kids are ready for college)
  • 250 IHOP trucker hats, which I guess are back!
  • 248,000 coupons for a free short stack of buttermilk pancakes (which I would be much happier to get than a stupid set of collectible drinking glasses)
  • Just about 15 hours left, everyone.