Deck The Dang Halls, Because The Food Network Is Doing A Holiday Movie

In five days, it will be September; thus, in five days, I will begin my annual Mad Max-style careen into the holiday season. I'll spend the next three months strapped to the front of my Honda Fit, eyelids taped back, gums inexplicably bleeding as I lick my lips and scream the lyrics to "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" en route to the craft store, whence I will purchase materials to finish embroidering the advent calendar I made for my beagle.

This is all to say: the holidays are nigh, and that means corny holiday movies. And, per Variety, there's a new holiday classic on this year's watchlist: the Food Network's first-ever scripted holiday movie, which has just finished production. It's called Candy Coated Christmas, and it takes place in a quaint little town called Peppermint Hollow. Hell, yeah.

Variety reports that Candy Coated Christmas will premiere later this year on Discovery+ as part of a new collaboration between the Food Network and Discovery. Not only will the premiere include a stocking-full of supplemental foodie content, including recipes; Candy Coated Christmas also marks the acting debut of cookbook author and Food Network host Ree Drummond, otherwise known as The Pioneer Woman.

Per Mashed, Drummond plays the "owner of a sweet little bakery shop in Peppermint Hollow" who befriends the big-city protagonist and shows her around the quaint town. (There's always a big-city protagonist in these things.) Variety reports that the role was written for Drummond, "who is known for her bright smile and cheery approach to rustic home cooking."

If you are, like me, physically and mentally primed to kick off the holiday season, you won't have to wait much longer: Variety reports that Candy Coated Christmas will premiere in November. Here comes the most wonderful time of the year, fools.