Wrestling Forbidden Snacks From Your Dog's Mouth Is A Full-Time Job, Apparently

A new survey reports that the average American dog owner yanks something from their pup’s mouth nearly 50 times a year.

It's not even noon, and my beagle has already eaten half a Slim Jim. It happened at 6 a.m. during his morning walk. I stumbled out of my apartment, hunched over with eyes half-closed as he screamed at nothing (beagles do that). Suddenly, he lurched to a halt and bent over to sniff the ground. Before I could stop him, this dude had snapped up someone's discarded snack, which was covered in ants and at least three days old.

Animals are always eating stuff they shouldn't—but now, with the help of a press release sent to The Takeout, I can confirm that my dog is much naughtier than others when it comes to forbidden snacks. The survey, conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Zignature, reports that the average American dog owner wrestles something from their pup's mouth nearly 50 times a year. The study involved 2,000 American dog owners, but I'll tell you right now that none of these people own beagles. I wrestle junk from my dog's mouth 50 times a day.

Per the poll, the average pet owner has to remove something from their dog's mouth about three times a month, including socks, garbage, and children's toys. Fortunately, 39% of survey respondents report that their dog immediately drops their "treat" when asked. Can't relate.

The survey also rounded up the average dog's most commonly sampled forbidden snacks. Like I mentioned above, the list includes socks, garbage, and kids' toys, but it also includes paper, people food, poop, and dirt. Personally, I can't even recall all the things I've had to yank out of my dog's mouth. He found a hot dog in a bush last year. If it's remotely edible, it's going down the hatch. I'm just glad to know I'm not entirely alone in this one.