Don't Buy 'Splash Mountain Water' On eBay

After many years of controversy, Disney World's iconic Splash Mountain ride has officially closed for a remodel. The entertainment conglomerate announced the ride's impending closure two and a half years ago amid worldwide Black Lives Matter protests. When it reopens next year, it will be known as Tiana's Bayou Adventure, named for the first Black Disney princess from the 2009 film The Princess and the Frog.

Before the ride closed on January 22, visitors took one last trip down the log flume. Some even took part of the ride home with them—and I'm not talking about a souvenir photo. No, some sly (and potentially sick) Disney World visitors brought empty bottles along for the ride and scooped up some of the now-scarce natural resource that is Splash Mountain water.

While some avid Disney fans might offer the bottle at the altar of their shrine to Mickey Mouse, others are trying to cash in by selling the water on eBay. A quick search for "Splash Mountain water" garners 80 eBay listings. Most auctions are currently hovering around $20, but some are offering to let you buy it now for as much as $635. What a deal! 

Interestingly, a lot of these auctions are using the exact same picture, which immediately makes me question the validity of the product. Do these cute little jars come with a certificate of authenticity? One listing (which does come with such a certificate) claims its water was not even collected from the ride's last day, but from sometime in 2021, and it's going for $1,000. It's almost certainly a troll listing: the insanely high price, the almost certainly BS "certificate of authenticity," and the fact that its water is blue when all the other jars contain clear water seem to be dead giveaways. But if the seller can get somebody to pay that price, more power to them!

Most people who purchase these jars of Splash Mountain water would likely just admire their souvenir from afar, but there is historical precedent that suggests some might try to do more with it. To all who possess such water, please, don't get any ideas.

A viral TikTok from last year seemingly depicts a park visitor bottling some of the water as she rode Pirates of the Caribbean, then taking it home and proceeding to cook noodles with it. Per the World Health Organization, drinking contaminated water can lead to diseases like cholera, hepatitis A, and dysentery. I once got giardia, a water-born parasite, after going too long without cleaning my reusable water bottle. If you like being able to hold down food and liquids, giardia is not fun.

To be fair, the TikTok shows the visitor boiling some water and then cuts to her eating a finished meal, so who knows if they actually used Disney ride water to make dinner. But in case it needs to be reiterated: Do not cook with this water. Do not drink this water. Do not brush your teeth with this water. God only knows what bacteria, urine, and brain-eating amoeba may be in it.

In another TikTok, a user who claims to be a former Disney World worker (or "cast member," as Disney calls them) detailed just some of the things likely to be contained in the water running through Splash Mountain. These include but are not limited to coffee, spit, hydraulic fluid, and bird poop. The user goes on to say that the water is chemically treated, so consuming a small amount is unlikely to cause harm. But drinking an entire bottle? Better call the Rescue Squad Ambulance.