26-Foot Barbecue Truck Stolen At Worst Possible Moment

There are assholes, and then there are assholes. The latter applies to a very particular brand of dirtbag: the kind of person who trips old ladies at the grocery store; the kind of person who swings their briefcase to forge a path onto a packed subway car; the kind of person who jacks a 26-foot barbecue truck amid a pandemic when many small restaurants are struggling to stay afloat. Now, that's an asshole.

According to a Facebook post from Detroit barbecue restaurant Slows Bar BQ, the restaurant's Slows To Go food truck was snatched from a locked parking lot in the wee hours of the morning on Wednesday, November 19. Yes, that's right: the thieves had to break into the parking lot, hop into the truck, and covertly maneuver the 26-footer out of the area.

According to WDIV-Detroit, Slows owner Michael Metevia didn't know exactly how much the truck was valued at—however, the truck allows for COVID-friendly food delivery, making it a crucial avenue for the restaurant as Slows fights to stay open during ongoing coronavirus shutdowns. "We're doing everything we can to keep our staff working and keep our guests safe. So when something like this happens, it is more of an emotional blow than business," Metevia told WDIV-Detroit.

The good news is that the truck was recovered on November 20. The bad news is that all of the equipment had been removed, making this extraordinarily tough year even tougher for Slows. The restaurant is asking anyone with tips to reach out to the Detroit Police or email the restaurant at manager@slowsbarbq.com. And I am asking the thieves to kindly go to hell.