Cocaine Is Delivered Faster Than Pizza, Survey Finds

When was the last time you ordered a pizza and it arrived at your door in under 3o minutes? Now, when was the last time you rang up your dealer and a bag of nose candy was in your hands in that same amount of time? Maybe don't answer that.

A new survey finds that worldwide, cocaine is generally delivered more quickly than pizza. The 2018 survey of global drug users found that while about 30 percent of cocaine users say they can get the drug delivered in a half hour or less, only 16.5 percent said the same for pizza. That charming info comes from Global Drug Survey, a London-based independent research company focused on collecting data about drug and alcohol use. Normally, that data is used to create reports for media, public health organizations and corporations, but sometimes, that data is also just damn interesting.

The researchers hypothesize that surveillance cameras in front of businesses and in public areas have made street dealing less appealing, and has contributed to the rise of home drug delivery. They also theorize that as people get used to delivery of groceries, clothes, and alcohol, they expect the same of illicit substances. If a user has their choice of convenient vs. less convenient methods of procurement, why wouldn't they chose the home delivery option? Researchers note: "Our findings show that illicit drugs like cocaine are just another commodity and that as with any competitive market place, a retailer with something to sell will look to maximize the purchase experience in order to gain a competitive edge over other suppliers."

The findings also indicate that pizzerias could really step up their delivery game. The "cocaine pizza map" on the survey's website shows that in most cities, same-day coke delivery is the norm, and that in many areas—notable the U.K. and Brazil—it's even quicker than getting a pizza to your doorstep. In the U.S., 23.6 percent of users said they could get coke delivered in under half an hour. Can you say the same for the large pepperoni pie with olives? Probably not.