Would You Like Those Onion Rings With A Side Of Nose Candy?

UK border officials found $44 million in cocaine hidden under bags of frozen onion rings.

In my experience, food-related crimes range from silly (the ne'er-do-well who covered a bucolic countryside town in baked beans) to sinister (the Russian sausage king's violent end) to just plain embarrassing (the thief who fell through the ceiling of an Idaho Subway). Now, the U.K.'s National Crime Agency (NCA) reports that a Polish truck driver attempted to enter the United Kingdom with 418 kilos of cocaine hidden under a pile of frozen onion rings. Not sure how to classify that food crime, to be honest.

Food & Wine cites the NCA report, which alleges that the 30-year-old Polish truck driver attempted to enter the U.K. from France with his illegal load in tow. Several UK Border Force officers stopped the truck at the UK inbound zone in Coquelles, France, before it could enter the country. At that point, they searched the truck and discovered the blow.

418 kilos of cocaine is a ton of cocaine, with a street value of around £33 million, or $44 million, the NCA says. If you're a visual learner, the NCA posted a photo of the coke haul on the agency's official Twitter page. Whoever packed the truck did a pretty lousy job of hiding the drugs, if you ask me. The photo shows just two flimsy bags of frozen onion rings meant to hide the whole stash.

"This was a really significant amount of drugs taken out of circulation," NCA Branch Commander Mark Howes said in the report. "The seizure will deprive the organized crime group responsible for them of profit which would have fueled more offending. Working with our partners such as Border Force we will continue to fight the Class A drugs threat in our mission to protect the public."

Now I'm craving onion rings. Better than craving the alternative, I suppose.