Make The Maltiest Chocolate Malted That Ever Did Malt

Whenever I go out for ice cream, I order a chocolate malted. I don't care if the place has 96 flavors, a yard-long list of special sundaes, or any sort of "wacky" toppings that look cute on Instagram. I am an ice cream parlor traditionalist! If my old-timey tastes are not fulfilled, I become a complaining old coot. And sadly, I find myself complaining more often than not, because a good chocolate malted is hard to find.

The problem with most modern malts is that they skimp on the malted milk powder. The soda jerks of yore were virtuosos who understood how ice cream numbs your tastebuds and how its rich, creamy butterfat coats your palate. For malted milk powder to be noticeable in a chocolate milkshake, you must add a big honkin' scoop or two. A measly spoonful of the stuff just won't do the job! (Kids these days...)

Whenever I am served a lousy malt, I make this one for myself once I get home. This is not a milkshake recipe; it's more of a cross between a Frappuccino and a float. It prioritizes malt above all else, to remind us of why the chocolate malted is so great in the first place. (By the way, there is one local spot that makes a great malted: The Charmery. Well worth the trip if you're ever in Baltimore!)

Makes two glasses

• 1/4 cup Ovaltine Chocolate Malt
• 3/4 cup whole milk
• 1 Tbsp. heavy cream, if desired
• 2 Tbsp. chocolate syrup
• 1 cup ice
• 1 (6-oz.) bottle malt soda, like Malta

In a blender, blend the Ovaltine, milk, cream, chocolate syrup, and ice. Divide between two pint glasses, divide the malt soda between them, and stir. Share with someone else, or drink them both yourself. (You know how milkshakes are served with "extra" milkshake on the side? Same principle. This can be a single serving, and I will not be entertaining objections.)