News - The Takeout

Choose One Potato Salad: German Or American. Answer Now.

By Kate Bernot June 10th, 2019 Read More
Last Call: Xbox's Microsoft Flight Simulator Trailer Drops Jaws, Blows Minds

By Kevin Pang June 10th, 2019 Read More
Asshole Seagull Snatches $21.50 Lobster Roll

By Kevin Pang June 10th, 2019 Read More
Man Unfairly Fined $124 After Kicking Asshole Seagull Who Went For His Cheeseburger

By Kevin Pang June 10th, 2019 Read More
Restaurant Arms Diners With Squirt Guns To Ward Off Goddamn Seagulls

By Kate Bernot June 10th, 2019 Read More
2 Georgia Restaurants Fight Over Name "Local"

By Kate Bernot June 10th, 2019 Read More
Kylie Jenner Hosted A Handmaid's Tale-Themed Dinner Party In A Triumph Of Missing The Point

By Dominick Suzanne-Mayer June 10th, 2019 Read More
Domino's Driver Unable To Deliver Pizza To Buckingham Palace

By Kate Bernot June 10th, 2019 Read More
Burger King Employee Caught Mopping Tables

By Dominick Suzanne-Mayer June 10th, 2019 Read More
Last Call: Tom Morello, Anthrax's Scott Ian And Co. Jam To Game Of Thrones Theme

By Kevin Pang June 7th, 2019 Read More
Ed Sheeran Now A Condiment

By Kevin Pang June 7th, 2019 Read More
Woman Says Golden Corral Asked Her Family To Leave Because Of Her Outfit

By Kate Bernot June 7th, 2019 Read More
Don We Now Our Flamin' Hot Apparel

By Dominick Suzanne-Mayer June 7th, 2019 Read More
Walmart Can Soon Walk Into Your Home, Open Your Fridge, Deliver Groceries

By Kate Bernot June 7th, 2019 Read More
NYC Burger King Has Been Passing Off Beef As Impossible Whoppers

By Kate Bernot June 7th, 2019 Read More
Russian App Developer Stops Eating Food To "Improve Clarity Of Thought"

By Dominick Suzanne-Mayer June 7th, 2019 Read More
I Turned Six Of My Favorite Meals Into Sausages To Answer One Question: Will It Hot Dog?

By John Carruthers June 6th, 2019 Read More
Last Call: I Attempted The Smallest Omelette

By Kate Bernot June 6th, 2019 Read More
Jay-Z Has Made Five Times More Money From Booze Than Music

By Allison Shoemaker June 6th, 2019 Read More
Where Does Beyond Meat Belong In The Grocery Store?

By Kate Bernot June 6th, 2019 Read More
Drag Race's Miz Cracker Transformed Queer Eye's Antoni Into Miss Eva Cado (Get It?)

By Allison Shoemaker June 6th, 2019 Read More
Adult Men Can't Stop Chugging On Camera Thanks To Aaron Rodgers

By Dominick Suzanne-Mayer June 6th, 2019 Read More
Sriracha Recipe In Flux Thanks To Split With Pepper Grower

By Dominick Suzanne-Mayer June 6th, 2019 Read More
NYPD Impounds Dozens Of Ice Cream Trucks

By Dominick Suzanne-Mayer June 6th, 2019 Read More
Police Seek "Donut Desperado" Wanted For Dance-Stealing Single Doughnut

By Kate Bernot June 6th, 2019 Read More
Jamba Juice Pulls A Dunkin', Now Goes By Just Jamba

By Kate Bernot June 6th, 2019 Read More
Making Up For Lost Time With The Baltimore Pit Beef

By Jeff Cioletti June 5th, 2019 Read More