Cannabis-Infused Cold Brew Promises A "Functional Chill" And We're Scared

"Marijuana coffee?" I stare at the two words next to each other, imagining myself jittering while ordering too much Domino's. Sounds terrible. But the producers of new KickBack Cold Brew, a cannabinoid-infused, ready-to-drink cold brew coffee line, claim uppers and downers aren't incompatible. They say the coffees, which contain cannabidiol (CBD), won't get you high, but will produce a "functional chill" comparable to "having a full night of rest, waking up in the morning, and feeling stress-free." Because hemp supplies the CBD for KickBack and it legally must contain less than .3 percent THC (the hallucinogenic component of marijuana), the coffees shouldn't get you stoned. Instead, producers claim, it produces a "calming and alert effect."

As someone who drinks more than a healthy amount of coffee and who also drinks beer professionally, I have some experience with the intersection of stimulants and depressants. Americano and IPA usually make up the combo, though it's not one I'd recommend. Red Bull and vodka also come to mind as an example of the two-headed party/chill monster, and again, not one I'd recommend. But if KickBack's coffee provides caffeine alongside enough green to take the tweaky edge off, it could be just the beverage for on-deadline creatives.