Cave Creatures, Try The World's First Sparkling Wine Made In Total Darkness

The Descent is one of my favorite horror movies, because it asks a truly terrifying question: what if a race of humanoids bred in total darkness and evolved to be blind underground killing machines? If you ask me, even cave-dwelling carnivores deserve a little taste of the finer things in life. Enter Radgonske Gorice, a winery in Slovenia's Gornja Radgona region with a sparkling wine brand called Untouched by Light that is made, sold, and ideally tasted in complete darkness.

According to a press release sent to The Takeout, the pitch-black process is meant to reduce the wine's exposure to daylight or artificial lighting, as both can result in unpleasant "light-struck" aromas in white wines. First, winery employees don night vision goggles to harvest the grapes on "moonless nights." The wine is also made in the dark using night vision goggles; then, it's left to age in black lightproof bottles in Gornja Radgona cave. Once out of the cave, the wine is packed in a vacuum-sealed bag blocking any additional light or air contact.

Finally, the winery recommends tasting the product in the dark. "It is highly recommendable to taste this wine in pitch darkness in good company, because the best things happen in the dark," a Radgonske Gorice representative said in the release. Hell, don't have to tell me twice.

Radgonske Gorice is currently in search of local distributors across the globe; however, 2,000 samples of the 2016 Untouched by Light vintage are currently available on untouchedbylight.com. The bottle sells for 100 euros, or $120.57 USD per today's exchange rate. I'm not sure how that translates to cave creature currency, but I'll let you know as soon as I find out.