Burger King Becomes A Leader In Fart Prevention Technology

One of the biggest threats to the future of humanity is cow farts. The livestock industry is directly responsible for around a quarter of climate change since the beginning of the industrial age; 65% of that comes from cattle, whose flatulence is full of methane, a greenhouse gas 34 times stronger than carbon dioxide. And let's not forget about the burps! Cattle have a special stomach bacteria that ferments their natural diet of grasses and rough plant matter, but when they eat livestock feed made from corn and soy, they become even gassier. If you'd prefer not to do a deep dive into the world of cow farts (it sounds funny but gets really gross really quick), Burger King made this delightful video to explain the problem to one and all. Never has the impending climate apocalypse been so catchy!

The reason this video exists: Burger King—a company that is literally founded on the belief that beef is good—has announced an initiative to address the environmental impact of its most important commodity. The brand has, according to a press release, "partnered with top scientists to develop and test a new diet for cows, which according to initial study results, on average reduces up to 33% of cows' daily methane emissions."

Can a cow still be tasty if it's not constantly bloated by explosive toots? Customers in Miami, New York, Austin, Portland, and Los Angeles can find out starting today, as select Burger King locations in those cities are offering the brand spankin' new Reduced Methane Emissions Beef Whopper. Will this special burger also reduce your own post-Whopper emissions? There was nothing about that in the press release, so we'll need you to do some investigating. If you try one of these burgers and post a detailed diary of your, ahem, experience in the comments, we just might send you something special.