Britain's Soda Industry Is About To Go Flat

The country is days away from running out of CO2 thanks to industry drama, gas prices, and Brexit.

It's time for another fun-packed edition of "Brexit Biting Britain In The Ass," everyone! (It's nice to know America is not alone in its terrible political decisions.) The former EU member state has been experiencing shortages of Italian food, avocado toast, chocolate, gravy, Nando's chicken, and many more equally delicious things. The entire food system in Britain is a bloody mess, and things might be about to get even worse.

The British Soft Drinks Association (BDSA) has released a sobering statement about the country's carbon dioxide supply, specifically that there is none.

"Some soft drinks manufacturers have only a few days of CO2 supply left in reserve," it wrote. "If soft drinks manufacturers cannot get hold of CO2 supplies after their reserves have run out, production of certain products will have to cease."

That's right, folks: Britain is but days away from losing soda. Soda! Can a capitalist society even function without soda? The country is already mired in massive supply chain issues that are robbing its citizens of beer and McDonald's milkshakes—if soda disappears, what are British people even supposed to drink? Tea?!

Bloomberg reports that Britian's CO2 reserves have been rapidly declining since last week, when one of the country's largest fertilizer manufacturers—which produces carbon dioxide as a byproduct—shut down two factories in response to high natural gas prices. In pre-Brexit times, members of the British Soft Drinks Association could address this problem by importing CO2 from a plant in the Netherlands, but unfortunately, that company prioritizes EU customers. Oh well.

The BDSA believes that the situation is unlikely to resolve itself without government intervention, as the price of natural gas is predicted to remain high for the foreseeable future. This means the fertilizer plants won't be reopening their doors anytime soon, at least not without the government's financial support. In the meantime, everyone in Britain has our permission to freak out, which will inevitably happen as the sugar withdrawals kick in.