Drop The Deep-Fried Butter And Tell Us About Your Favorite Fair Food

County fair, state fair, Ren Faire—what's your go-to treat when the ferris wheel comes to town?

Earlier today, we reported on the new food options at the upcoming Minnesota State Fair, including a biscuit-doughnut hybrid that'll get your arteries good and clogged before a spin in the Tilt-a-Whirl. That got us reflecting on the very best fair foods of all time. Me, I'm partial to deep-fried desserts, although I won't kick an old-fashioned lemonade out of bed (especially if it's served in a novelty vessel, like a plastic cowboy boot). I also crave corn dogs on the regular, although I do require a separate ketchup vessel for dunking. Takeout editor-in-chief Marnie Shure once paid a visit to the Iowa State Fair's famed butter sculptures and somehow managed to resist taking a bite. I admire her willpower.

For those of us too chicken to ride the hastily-constructed ferris wheel, fair food is the main event. This brings us to today's query: what, readers, is the ultimate fair food? What's the very best chow to enjoy while you watch a piglet race? What do you crave after the Joan Jett impersonator wraps up her outdoor set? What's your first stop after scoping out the 1,000-pound pumpkins in the Gardening Expo Center?

This pressing inquest applies to state fairs, county fairs—hell, even Renaissance Fairs. (Faires?) You can judge a fair food by its utility (is it served on a stick?), its outlandishness (fried scorpions, et cetera), or its sheer tastiness (bacon-wrapped Twinkie, please). You can even establish your own puke-o-meter, selecting the fair food that's least likely to make you hurl after a ride on a rickety roller coaster. Either way, I want to hear about the fried, fatty, frankly undigestible delights that you think of when the fair comes to town. Tell me everything.