Bring Unto Me Thy Beer Bong, For I Shall Chug The Goose Turd Beer

Fans of funky craft brews know all about dank beers—but what about stank beers? Beers made with animal excrement, that is. (As far as I know, "stank beers" is not an official industry term. Yet.) The brewers at Ant Brew in Lahti, Finland, seem to think that animal poop beer is the next big thing. That's why Ant Brew is cooking up an imperial stout made with goose droppings gathered from local parks.

Food & Wine reports that Ant Brew's new Wasted Potential Imperial Stout was inspired by the microbrewery's home city, which is just over an hour north of Helsinki. The famously eco-conscious area inspired a series of Wasted Potential beers, all of which utilize "wasteless" ingredients like wild herbs, food waste, and, most notably, goose poop. "The poop is used in a food-safe way to smoke malt to create a unique stout beer," the brewery explains. "The goose droppings are gathered from local parks, where geese are causing a messy problem. Now, the local parks get cleaner and the special edition summer beverages are perfect for a picnic in the park-a true two birds with one stone type of solution."

Why do we need a beer brewed with goose poop? I simply do not know. Perhaps the droppings will lend some sort of elusive funk to the malt. Perhaps goose droppings actually taste really good, and Americans just haven't been brave enough to try them. Either way, I'd probably be more inclined to try this one than some of the other novelty beers that have hit shelves in recent years. (A peanut butter biscuit stout disguised as a member of a hate group? No, thank you. I will have the poop beer instead.) Unfortunately, per Food & Wine, the goose poop beer won't debut until later this summer. Patience is a virtue, I guess.