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"Alexa, Order Gravy-Flavored Candy Canes."

What does it say about me that my first thought when I saw these wasabi-flavored candy canes, was: "Wow, I could totally use these to prank people I hate!" I am a rude person who weaponizes holiday candy out of spite, I guess.

But presumably you could also, you know, personally eat the bizarre candy canes now for sale on Amazon in flavors such as wasabi, bacon, gravy, pickle, and coffee. (I would try the coffee one because I feel there's a 12 percent chance it's actually good.) I'll let some of the critical reviews of the other flavors speak for themselves.

Perhaps the best news about these, uh, "treats" is that unlike a lot of novelty flavored food items, they are not solely available in Japan or one store in the U.K., or some Euro-food/fetish store. You can buy them, right now, on Amazon for less than $10. Did you draw the coworker you despise for office Secret Santa? Problem solved.