14-Year-Old Banana Bread Entrepreneur Here To Make You Question Your Sorry Life Choices

Called "the Woodstock of Eating" by the New York Times, Brooklyn's Smorgasburg is set to welcome a new vendor: a 14-year-old banana bread wunderkind who's accomplished more in his first year of high school than most of us will in the entirety of our sorry lives. This story is a delight, but now I'm both hungry and feeling really insecure about my life choices, know what I mean?

As reported by the New York Post, freshman Jack Greenleaf has sold 384 loaves since founding his business, Bread and Monkey, last fall. Since he can't, you know, drive yet, he's delivered his banana bread by bike to residents of lower Manhattan, but as one of 20 accepted applicants out of the approximately 1,000 who compete for a space at the popular open-air market, he'll now have the chance to grow his young business even more. For Smorgasburg's opening weekend, in addition to his usual treats, he offered banana-bread french toast. Greenleaf described it to the Post as "my most Instagrammable creation yet," which might seem insufferable if it didn't look like this.

If you're based in New York and want to try this delicious-sounding stuff, the classic banana bread is $10, while a loaf studded with chocolate chips runs $12. You can place an order through his website, which currently has a helpful banner offering a reminder to visitors: "I'm back in high school and bake each loaf myself so all orders must be placed one week in advance so I can ensure you receive the freshest breads."

He'll get started as soon as, according to the Post, "he hitches a ride from his mom to Costco to stock up on ingredients like baking soda and powder, flour, butter, eggs, sugar and of course, plenty of bananas."

And now, back to figuring out which Thai place from which to order delivery even though it is totally walking distance. If you sample the freshest breads, please let us know.