Jalapeño Popper Goldfish—and JNCOs—will Transport You To The '90s In The Worst Possible Way

The new crackers launch today as part of a partnership with a truly startling ’90s stalwart.

Pierce your tongue, cue the industrial music, and slide into your Geo Metro, because Goldfish is catapulting us back into the '90s with Jalapeño Popper–flavored crackers and... a JNCO Jeans Partnership.


You remember JNCOs. They're the absurdly large jeans from the days of No Doubt that I personally feel are synonymous with wearing an upside-down visor on your head and calling things "phat." Each pant leg was wide enough to sneak a family of four into a screening of Cruel Intentions. Truly a feat of modern denim stitchery.

Now, given the flavor's popularity in the '90s, Goldfish has decided that its new jalapeño popper flavor goes well with a helping of shudder-inducing nostalgia. Per a press release sent to The Takeout, the brand has—I am not kidding—created a "limited-edition Goldfish Jalapeño Popper JNCO jean." The release explains that the jeans are "the ultimate 90s snacking pants" with "large pockets perfect for a bag of Jalapeño Popper Goldfish." Starting today, September 2, fans can get their hands on a pair of the limited-edition jeans at JNCO.com/goldfish, complete with a bag of Jalapeño Popper Goldfish "to enjoy by the handful while wearing the new snack pants."


One thing: the jeans are, ahem, two hundred dollars. I suppose nostalgia comes at a cost, but for that price, you could probably rent out a Sublime cover band for an entire weekend. If you'd rather not spend two HUNDRED entire DOLLARS on a pair of jeans that'll make you look like you crawled out of an episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy, you can purchase Jalapeño Popper Goldfish now at major retailers for $2.69 per 6.6oz. bag. In the meantime, there are plenty of other ways to channel '90s nostalgia. Cut yourself a stylish Rachel hairdo. Slip into a velvet minidress. Coat your gorgeous lips in a layer of fudge-colored lipstick. Whatever you do, it's gotta be better than reviving those tent-like jeans.