Area Man Teabags Salsa [UPDATED]

Update, March 12, 2019: The man charged with "adulteration of food, liquids or pharmaceuticals"—a Class C felony—for dipping his testicles into a container of salsa intended for a restaurant-delivery customer has reportedly plead guilty to a lesser misdemeanor charge. The Knoxville News Sentinel reports the 31-year-old man almost imperiled his plea agreement by laughing during his court appearance. The judge reprimanded him, and he plead guilty to misdemeanor assault/offensive touching.

Original story, February 27, 2019:

A Tennessee man was arrested last week on a charge of "adulteration of food, liquids, or pharmaceuticals," which, per the Knoxville News Sentinel, is a Class C felony.

The adulteration in question? Dunking his goddamn balls into somebody's goddamn salsa.

Howard Matthew Webb, 31, last month allegedly navigated his testicles into a container of salsa that was then delivered to a customer who had placed an order with a Mexican restaurant via an online app. The customer had reportedly tipped poorly (we're presuming pre-tipped via the app). According to The Daily Times of Blount County, Tennessee, Webb was a passenger in the car of a delivery person, an independent contractor through the online ordering app, when he decided to dunk his nads in salsa. (Side note: Wouldn't that worry you? Jalapenos!)

The pair then shot a video. From the Maryville Police Department's warrant:

"Webb produced a video showing Webb placing his testicles in a salsa container and (the driver) is heard laughing and stating, 'This is what you get when you give an 89-cent tip for an almost 30-minute drive'... Webb is heard saying, 'Oh, oh, it feels good.'"

They then put the video on goddamn Facebook, where it was shared hundreds of times. The incident came to the attention police after they were contacted by Dinner Delivered, the online app. Per the News Sentinel, the driver "has not been charged, but the investigation is ongoing." The driver is also no longer working for the company.

The order, the company said, was refunded.