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Prime Day Deals For Kitchen Items No One Needs

In no universe can we imagine needing a $700 "beer froster."

Prime Day simply wouldn't be Prime Day if every so-called Lightning Deal was for a stalwart, practical product. Where's the sexiness in that? Sometimes you need to outfit your kitchen with frivolous little things that nevertheless bring you joy. Not to mention that Amazon's big summer sale exists in part to convince customers to buy things that they don't need—things that, indeed, no human being could ever possibly need (and not even that many humans would want). To that end, we combed through Prime Day's kitchen deals so you don't have to and compiled just a snapshot of the most ridiculous products on offer. You absolutely do not need to get 'em while they're hot.

Phiestina 24 Inch Beer Froster Beverage Cooler Refrigerator ($713)

Recently, the marketing team for a faux chicken brand sent The Takeout a fully functioning mini fridge as a fun surprise (maybe don't do this, marketing folks; you never know how many flights of stairs the recipient has to deal with). I mention this because that sort of giveaway is a pretty good indication that the world is replete with mini fridges, and no one needs to spend more than $500, tops, for this tinier version of the refrigerator you already own (well, most of you). This Phiestina model, previously listed for $891 on Amazon, costs $713 on Prime Day. That sounds pretty good, except it was listed on Wayfair yesterday at $719, so take these prices with a grain of salt.

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Nothing in the list of features indicates why this fridge might cost nearly double what a typical mini fridge would. It boasts an "ergonomic design," though, which could mean just about anything. If you purchase the Phiestina on Prime Day, please send us a full report on how your wrists and back feel six months from now.

Revolution InstaGLO R180B – NEW! 2-Slice, Matte Black/Chrome Touchscreen Toaster with high-speed smart settings for perfect toasting – Compatible with Revolution Panini Press accessory for crispy, melty sandwiches and quesadillas in your toaster! ($279.20)

Yes, all of that text is included directly in the title of this item over on Amazon, where you can also purchase the model in stainless steel instead of matte black. What I find most perplexing about this product is that, at this price point, surely Revolution could have accommodated more than two slices of toast? Isn't the value of any toaster weighted in part by the amount of bread it can toast at any given time?

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A swing by the Revolution website seems to confirm that only 2-slot models of this robot toaster are available. But oh, how the company can upsell its functionality in sans serif: "Toast Pop-Tarts faster and easier than ever with our one-tap setting," boasts the InstaGLO. I'll never fall asleep again knowing that there just might be someone out there dropping $300 today because they think it will improve the cook on their Pop-Tarts.

None of the customer questions & answers for this item seem curious about why there aren't more slots for the money. So I guess I shouldn't be, either.

Lifewit 8pcs Refrigerator Organizer Bins ($20.49)

Look, it's not like this $20 item will break the bank, but 2022's Prime Day deals pages are positively littered with bins like this, and I'm here to tell you that they won't let you live your Home Edit dreams as Amazon is clearly implying they will.

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For one thing, these bins are not dishwasher safe, which takes away 99% of their utility. For another, while all the product photos show tidy rows of soda cans and beer bottles nestled in these bins, those items would have looked exactly like that standing on the normal fridge shelf—all you've done is add a high lip around beverages that would otherwise be easily pulled from the fridge. Are you looking to literally gatekeep your drinks?

How long do you really expect to keep snapping yogurt packages apart just to stack them pleasingly inside a bin from which you have to manually scrub away greasy fingerprints? What do you think you have to prove by spending more money and working harder to achieve a prescribed aesthetic inside the most opaque chamber of your house? Treat yourself better than this. Skip the bins.

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