Apple Is Withholding Life-Altering, Crumb-Free Keyboards From Us

Hey Apple, instead of releasing $400 watches, how about you get around to eliminating every MacBook user's biggest gripe: crumby keyboards? According to The Verge, Apple patented a crumb-resistent keyboard in 2016, but has yet to deploy this life-changing technology.

Though the patent is two years old, it only came to light March 8 when it was made public under the patent title Ingress Prevention For Keyboards. We are frankly flabbergasted and bewildered that it isn't standard on every new MacBook.

The patent indicates the technology could work in two ways. In one version, the keyboard design eliminates the small gaps that allow Cheetos dust and doughnut frosting sludge to invade the space around the keys. In a second mock-up, a membrane below the keys puffs out a small bit of air each time a key is struck, expelling crumbs and dust.

It's not often that a technology comes around that is so simple, so elegant, and yet fulfills such a common need. Apple, we implore you to set aside your HomePods and watches and release this powerful anti-crumb technology to the people.